Our Politics

Tag: satire

  • Satire on the Go: Trump’s New Appointment

    Satire on the Go: Trump’s New Appointment

    President Trump has now appointed a new cabinet, member Bill Coal of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Bill Coal is a former sex offender who was caught molesting four children in front of the Oakland GOP offices where he was previously attempting to bolster support for a future run for governor. Bill Coal was key for Trump in Michigan, for not only rallying voters for Trump but also encouraging younger voters to erect Republicans. Coal will now head the nation’s federal Child Protection Agency, tasked with protecting over 30 million children from negligence, abuse, and rape. Coal said, “I am fully committed to making sure I lick the problems that affect those kids. To make sure their parents are kept busy with employment and to nail down a hard solution to our nation’s problems.”

    Coal has also been known to pay bribes, and an FCC court ruled he was in violation of Code 345 section E-W, preventing corporations from donating money to businesses to donate to political campaigns. The business in question was a candy store that was known for its lollypops and ice cream. Coal paid a fine of $50,000 dollars and has reportedly made no comment since, although our investigative reports have seen his trash full of lollypop wrappers, which mysteriously stopped after becoming head of the agency. Trump has said, “Bill Coal is a man who can get things done and he’s a guy I would trust to take care of my own kids.” Coal was last in Michigan at a farm he owned bragging about how big his cock was days before his term begins, see image below.

    He is quoted as saying “I can’t wait to have kids come over and see my cock as part of my job. I am very proud to be an American today and can’t thank the President enough for allowing me to bask in his erect oral victory. Amen.”

    Bill Coal and his cock in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    For more fun see…
    http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sexual_innuendo

    DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT REAL DO NOT SUE ME PLEASE

    Written by Fuckface Von Clownstick

  • Breaking News NJ Democratic Election Winner

    Breaking News NJ Democratic Election Winner

    Breaking News the Democratic Primary winner is Phil Murphy. After a long tough race, Murphy outspending all of his appoints by millions managed to skate by with an election victory. John Money-Pants Johnson was at the scene, “I thought he wasn’t going to be able to buy the election, we were really scared. But thanks to the American election system we won fair and square with millions of dollars.”

    Phil Murphy A smile that could bite your head off
    Phil Murphy a smile that could bite your head off

    Phil Murphy Wall Street Executive, Gold Man Sachs Whore, fonderly off all things money, spent 20 million dollars to win the Democratic Primary. A wallet so thick it will make your head spin and your pants fall off.
    John Money-Pants Johnson, a well-known supporter of Murphy, left with their campaign slogan going forward” Phil Murphy, Money, Power and Screwing the Public. Yes, WE can.”

    Kim Guadagno the Republican Nominee lagged far behind spending only 8 million dollars to rob her primary away from whoever else was in there.
    This year’s election seems to be the race to see who can burn as much money as possible while chanting “Fuck the Poor”. It’s going to be an interesting race folks. Murphy has an advantage with his stacks of cash being much higher.Microphones will be distributed. It’s noteworthy to say you should not underestimate the resolve of a Republican woman who is more than ready to put on a strap on and literally fuck the poor. Back to you Matt.

    http://www.njpen.com/2017-primary-election-results-no-surprises-low-turnout/ (less then 20% of NJ Registers Democrats or Republicans Voted)

    NJ Gov Race: Murphy Passes $20M in Spending


    http://www.kimfornj.com/on_the_issues
    https://www.murphy4nj.com/issues

  • The Flag of the Day

    The Flag of the Day

    Jingoism,Jangoism, Lingoism, Languoism
    The Flag of the Day

    The man had a flag,
    it was covered in red.
    He held it high,
    it pointed toward the sky.

    The flag has a rip,
    the flag has a tear,
    The flag was seen everywhere.

    If you see the flag,
    You should beware,
    Because if it’s on your soil,
    you it will not spare.

    Remember the fallen, the flag shall say,
    Remember the patriots, on the holy day.

    The Lord’s Day is not the Sabbath,
    The Lord’s Day is not for prayer,
    But to give praise to our god,
    The flag of the day.