By Marco Palladino 4/4/17-Creative Writing
It was the Mayor’s first day in office after a blurry campaign, his adversaries remained like specs in the eye toward an unforeseen victory. The Mayor would start his first day in office by flirting with his secretary, who at first he had mistaken for a coat rack. He came into his office with a blindingly bright pair of blue pants. He would make it to his desk only to find that someone had un-wheeled his chair so when he sat down, it was lopsided and made him look at people bent with a goofy stare at the ceiling. He would sign his first bill with a pink pen with a little Hawaiian girl holding a ukulele on top. The Mayor was on the front page of the newspaper with the pen, the bill covered in pink ink, his intern smiling with his forearm crutches and a shirt that read I am with the fool hearted and blind.
The Mayor loved listening to rap music loudly in his office, specifically Biggy Smalls. When people would visit him, the music continued to play loudly because the Mayor couldn’t find the right knob to turn it down. The public works administrator would usually leave the room saying racial slurs and something or other about the niggerizing of American music. The Mayor would also play games on his interns by sneaking up on them at night when the office lights were dim. These games usually ended up with an intern having a near heart attack, falling and flapping out of their chair like a drunk baby out of a car seat. He would sometimes scare them by making growling noises and then let his dog Midget loose. Midget was a short and heavy bulldog who had a habit of gnawing on the intern’s leg, enough to rip their pants and slobber all over their new clothes. The intern with crutches would be used to fending off the dog like a David versus Goliath battle, with the dog weighing nearly double the interns’ weight. He would whack the dog repeatedly, quoting Shakespeare in the process. “All was lost, But that the heavens fought,” the intern said.
The intern would get back at the Mayor by calling as fake people about fake problems, while making fun of his blindness. He would call with strange names like Partially Sighted and Juno No See-alot. He would call as a Republican to ask him to support Trump’s Wall, the Mayor would reply “I don’t understand why we need a wall, I can’t see it anyway.” The intern would call as a Democrat to push healthcare, he would reply “I am blind” and hang up. After a few hours of prank phone calls, the intern would begin to get some work done having kept the Mayor busy for a while. The Mayor would also ride into town with a cowboy hat on with his secretary and spend taxpayer money on lavish lunches and dinners for himself and his wife Jenifer.
The Mayor would love to go to lunch with people in town, spending 2 to 3 hours eating and talking to the locals. He was often seen consuming large amounts of alcohol during lunch time and would ride back to the office on a two-person bike with the secretary on the front. The Mayor was known for making obscene and lewd comments toward police officers on the ride back. Sometimes he would have conversations with red fire-hydrates and insult them calling them red faced and no good. He was also caught going to cockfights downtown with illegal Mexicans. These fights are well known and the police remain unable to stop them. Often there is gambling and prostitution, it’s thought to be managed by former Nazis. How long can our City remain vigilante against crime when the mayor clearly can’t see the problem?
Don’t let the “Blind Cowboy” bike Oklahoma City off the Cliff. Don’t let the Mayor create blind justice. Go to www.NotSeeMayor.com
Paid for by the Women Against “The Blind Cowboy”:Mayor Thomas Gore. Sponsored by the Oklahoma Republican Party- We Need a Mayor that can see the future. Vote for John W. Harreld, A man who’s vision is impeccable.2020.
This story is dedicated to my Grandmother: Jean T Bonanno who lived with blindness later in her life and struggled with it. December 15, 1929 – April 20, 2014.